Career & Life Blending: Give Me Boundaries Or Give Me MySpace
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Are your children using technology for pseudo relationships while you’re at work? Have you ever lost time at work to sort out a problem with your child who is using technology in ways that do not fit your family’s values? Or is the disrespectful use of technology causing issues inside your school?

Recently I’ve learned more about a site called MySpace that receives a lot of connectivity time from children ages ten and up to adults in their 50’s. The intended age parameter of this site is 14-28. Unfortunately you can lie about your age and still gain account access.

My understanding is that the original intent of this site was to provide an inexpensive place for people to promote their music and bands; and like many good things it’s mushroomed into something else. Now it’s a site where you can chat and meet new people (I know it sounds a lot like on-line dating).

I became concerned when I learned how easy it is to deceive people with this site. Besides the predators who are using this site, which has been documented on many news programs recently, people can also put up a site and misrepresent people they actually know, such as family, friends or even teachers.

If someone can put a site up that features another person (including pictures) without the permission of that person—this is not a good thing. Too often the intent is to hurt that person—and that’s a very serious thing. Because myspace seems to lack effective monitoring, it can only be as safe and respectful as the participants who are interacting with the site.

Working parents know first hand that it takes a community to raise a child—but I don’t think any parents imagined a community for their child that would be involved in these types of issues.

Effective boundaries are the foundation of great communities. These kinds of boundaries consider the authentic differences of people. When you lose effective boundaries, your community will go from great to good to terrifying. I realize parents can shut-off their Internet connections at home while they are at work. And they can set ground rules about Internet use at a friend’s home—these are all effective options. Yet here are my boundary related questions on this topic:

  1. Why aren’t we teaching and modeling the respectful use of our technology tools?
  2. Why aren’t we building web-based tools for kids and parents that promote trust, community, fun and safety?
  3. Couldn’t we be taking classes with our kids on how to write effective emails, or how to fix communication problems using the Internet?
  4. How about a class on setting limits so we shut off our technology and connect?
A recent worldwide technology use study, conducted by Yahoo and OMD, a media firm, found that seriously tech-connected families in the United States own up to 11 electronic devices. These same U.S. families are cramming 43 hours of tech-enabled activities into a 24-hour day. That was only an average; China and India reported having 45 hours while France confirmed 34 hours.

Wow! Our technology isn’t going away. It’s time we catch-up to the questions.